Worst Mom Award

Goes to me.  Easily.

I took it all in stride when;

• Chris suggested I go out to Ogden and get the car, because he would finish work in SLC.
• I realized I would have to leave in the next 30 minutes to get on the next bus.
• I waited for 20 minutes outside our house to get on the 470 to Ogden.
• I dropped the books out of my bag on the bus when I sat down, because it was so full it wouldn't zip shut.
• I realized after walking to the Frontrunner station that I must have dropped my UTA Pass somewhere along the way.
• Camden wouldn't come with me, so I patiently waited to bring him with me to retrace my steps.
• The connecting bus didn't leave the Ogden Frontrunner station for 30 minutes.
• Camden wanted to run around where all the buses drive.
• Camden was leaning over into the bucket of cigarette butt water.
• Camden was running away from me and biffed it off the curb.
• I was unsure which stop to get off closest to Chris' work.
• Camden wanted to get down on the side of a busy street to play in the dirt.

But I lost patience when:

• Camden couldn't understand that we had to keep walking to get to the car.
• Camden wanted to play in the dirt for longer than I felt like we could on the side of a busy street.

I felt like the worst mother ever when;

• I picked him up, roughly, and walked the 5 blocks to the car.
• I gritted my teeth as he kicked and screamed because he wanted to go play in the dirt.
• I switched him to his carseat even when he kept crying for milk.
• I set him down after waking him up getting him out of the carseat, because he was squirming against me, but he was still half asleep and he fell back and hit his head on the sidewalk.
• I sat here crying feeling bad for how I treated him.

I officially win the worst mother award.  I'll feel bad about it forever.

Through the black black clouds of today however, I am thankful for;

• The guy on the bus who picked up my dropped books.
• Finding my pass.
• The bus driver who helped me find the right stop in downtown Ogden.
• The guy who stopped on the busy road to make sure I was ok.

UPDATE: 4:14pm - Camden is asleep.  I cleaned the house, did the dishes, did the laundry, am listening to Disney Classics and am eating ice cream.  I am doing ok.  :)