My beard had been growing for about 3 months, unregulated and unfettered. Unfortunately, it looked like crap: not full, wiry, untamed, more like regular thin hair and less like thick beard hair. I looked like this for my sister-in-law's wedding, missed the Nutcracker for it, and generally alienated some people. But it was fun.
Last night, my sister intimated that I ought to trim it before our upcoming family pictures. During this last week I had been contemplating my beard because I knew it didn't look how I would like. Since my sister wanted me to I decided to try and trim it. I used our hair clippers and started my shortening the mustache. That didn't look good. Then I tried trimming the neck. It looked a little better but because of the thin hair it didn't fit. Then I tried trimming some more and couldn't get it even. Finally I knew that this wasn't working and shaved it all off. I have also been letting my hair grow without cutting it and now that looked weird so I shaved all that off.
"He that hath a beard is more than a youth, and he that hath no beard is less than a man" -Much Ado About Nothing, Act II, Scene 1
At the risk of sounding overly sentimental about a seemingly meaningless superficial aspect of my face, when I look at myself in the mirror I feel like a complete and total wuss. It's like I'm just another baby-faced conformist who rejects the natural way God has combined my DNA to fit our society's trivial, base standards. I feel like my defiance and rebelliousness, my questioning and critical mind, my individuality and creativity, my whole value system (anarchism, anti-war pacifism, free-economy community-driven cooperation), my "inner beard" so to speak, was also shaved off. It's as though a despotic, tyrannical regime suppressed, quieted, quelled and finally crushed my protest against what I see as evil and ignorance. I've felt dejected and depressed ever since.